Ironic isn't it? The woman we all want to be is actually a woman who many men consider horrendously ugly. Why is that?
Carrie Bradshaw gets what she wants because she knows how to talk. Life ultimately isn't about how you look, it's about who you know. That's what gets you places.
I learned a lot in college. I learned academics, social etiquette, how to handle my liquor (kind of), how to procrastinate and recover from procrastination, but the greatest lesson I've learned is what I learned outside of college. By going out and talking to people, I've learned how to get what I want.
If you ask many people my age what they'd prefer to do on a Friday night, they'd most likely answer something to the extent of going out dancing, clubbing, etc. There's nothing wrong with that. However, I find that in a loud, dancing situation, the only new people you're going to meet are the ones who bump into you and spill your drinks or the sleazy guys who don't respect your personal bubble. The situations I find the most satisfying are ones in which I can socialize with the people around me. It's amazing the people you'll meet when you put yourself out there and talk to them.
Let's go back to our Sex & the City analogy. Everyone loves Carrie. Yes, she's stylish. Yes, she gets a lot of guys. Yes, she has GREAT shoes. But I don't think that's why we idolize her. We idolize her because she knows how to get all of that. She does that by talking. Sarah Jessica Parker's character talks to everyone around her. She's friendly without being obnoxious and she ultimately gets what she wants through talking.
Now take Miranda. If you like her character, congratulations, you're the first person I've met who does. Miranda is awkward, bitchy, and let's face it, annoying. Think about it - ultimately, the reason we don't like Miranda is because she doesn't get what she wants (aka, she doesn't get what WE want). Why not? Guess what. She's the bitch of the group. She shoots daggers with her eyes to those around her. If you think I'm just making things up to prove my point, go watch an episode. She's the most unfriendly of the group and therefore, the most miserable.
Now, I'm not saying everyone go out there and be obnoxiously friendly to everyone around you. That's just annoying and nobody likes that girl either. But pay attention to your surroundings. People like to talk about themselves - get them talking and you'll realize they probably have something to offer you. I can't stress the amount of people I've met at bars, restaurants, on the T, in line for the bathroom, etc who end up being someone of value. Last week I suggested an item on the menu to a man sitting alone at a bar. He turned out to be James Montgomery, a well-known older musician of the "James Montgomery Band" who once headlined a show that Aerosmith opened for. The day after I met James, he had a lunch date with Mick Jagger. Mental note - this is someone you want to know.
The other important thing to note is that after you meet people, keep in touch. Nobody wants to be used. You don't want to meet someone and then four months later be contacted by them because they want something from you. Get their email; follow up the next day and let them know you're glad you met. People appreciate new contacts as much as you appreciate them.
In the end, it's not about how you look. Ask Sarah Jessica Parker, "unsexiest woman alive." Get people talking and I guarantee, even if you find someone has nothing to offer you, they'll still have something interesting to say. People can be captivating if you give them the chance.
“They say life's what happens when you're busy making other plans. But sometimes in New York [or Boston or LA or Chicago or Austin or Atlanta...], life is what happens when you're waiting for a table.”
-Carrie Bradshaw
No comments:
Post a Comment